By Gerald Rellick
Rumors are brewing in Washington that the states of Kansas and Utah will be forced to secede from the United States and form their own country. As firm supporters of the most incompetent and dangerous president in American history, these two states are as much out of reality as their president, and so deserve special recognition as “rogue states,” injurious to the health and security of the United States. And the other 48 states have every right to protect themselves from such rogue elements.
Unfortunately, the two states do not border on each other. Colorado intervenes. This creates logistical problems. But much could be learned from the Palestinian existence in Israel. They too are geographically separated --in the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. Life is tough there. Checkpoints are a persistent hassle, but they get by.
Building a fence of razor wire around Kansas and Utah would be the first step. Their choice of country name would be up to them. I suggest something like Stupidstan. But then, Colorado is not the most foresighted state either, and they might wish to join Kansas and Utah in secession. This could reduce the amount of razor wire needed to contain the miscreants of these states and allow easy immigration between the three states. American citizens – the real ones—who enjoy skiing, for example in Colorado and Utah, would have visas of unlimited time. Stupidstan would almost certainly agree to this, for without it, the new country’s revenue would be severely limited. They are stupid, but not that stupid.
In Utah life is largely dictated by Mormons, as sick a bunch of humans as now walk the face of the earth. And in Kansas you have just plain dumb and stupid. Neither state contributes any value to the United States of America. But, there are good people everywhere, and these people should be given a chance to leave the two (or three) states and remain U.S. citizens. A one-year transition period would be reasonable while secession takes place. Those remaining would be the true Stupidstanians, dedicated to meaningless and mindless life, and safely isolated from the true United States of America. Federal funds should be allocated to those who have difficulties relocating.
Residents of Stupidstan would require passports to enter the United States, and as is typical of most countries, the passport would be good for a 30-day stay. Violations of immigration law should be stiff: Incarceration in immigration detention for a minimum of 30 days and revocation of passport for one year. Our crack airline security people would be put on special alert to enforce the passport law, and of course, be alert as ever, just as they were on 9/11/01.
There would be side benefits as well. Kansas Senator Pat Roberts would no longer be a U.S. citizen, and therefore , no longer chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, a disgraceful body, which under his leadership, has given George Bush a free pass to do as he pleases, including breaking whatever laws of the United States as he sees fit in his preeminent role of commander in chief in “time of war.” It’s appropriate, therefore, that the despicable Roberts be removed from the U.S. Senate. I am sure that with his political ties, he would have a good chance of being part of the new government of Stupidstan.
And then there is the other Kansas Senator, Sam Brownback, an Evangelical Christian politician, and who one journalist referred to as the “dumbest member of the U.S. Senate.” I’ll take the journalist’s word for that. Others argue that James Inhofe of Oklahoma is the dumbest. But I don’t want to get into that old argument -- who was worse, Hitler or Stalin, Mao or George Bush? It’s a toss up. They are all freaks of nature.
America is in transition and is moving in new directions. Let this be the first major step to a new United States of America, one that treasures the genius of our founding fathers, and respects the millions who fought an died in WWII to preserve democracy from Nazism and Japanese Imperialism.
George Bush has in effect declared these ideas old and antiquated, and seeks a new world of American hegemony. After 235 years of American success in the world, based in large part on these simple constitutional principles along with simple decency and respect for others, we can’t allow this psychotic miscreant, George Bush, to turn us back into the Dark Ages.
Gerald S. Rellick, Ph.D., worked in aerospace industry for 22 years. He now teaches in the California Community College system. He can be reached at grellick@hotmail.com
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8 comments:
do u write this shit?
Dear Mr. Rellick,
After reading your article in Thomas Paine's corner, the first thought that came to my mind was, Josef Goebbels would have been proud of you and would be in total agreement. Thank you for exposing your limited intelligence by coming up with such brilliant remarks such as, "In Utah life is largely dictated by Mormons, as sick a bunch of humans as now walk the face of the earth. " I was really impressed by your in depth analysis of an entire group of people. What was the comparison your good buddy Goebbels made about Jews, oh yes, that they were vermin. I am sorry you were bornin this period of time, obviously you would have been much happier to be a part of the Third Reich, were such brilliant generalizations were so easily accepted. I find it no great surprise that you live in one of our great states that rounded up their American citizens of Japanese descent and shipped them of to Topaz in Utah to put them inside their razor wire. You, my friend, are a truly great American.
Please continue to spout forth your inspired insights, for you are one of the people that make this nation such a wonderful place.
I agree with Paul Brooks. You truly are exposing your limited intelligence by saying that Mormons are "as sick a bunch of humans as now walk the face of the earth." It's clear you don't know many, nor do you know anything about Christian beliefs. There's one thing for sure . . . not having to worry about the likes of you ever crossing Utah's borders helps me to sleep better at night!
Nice. Well, you certainly have Utah figured as a conservative stronghold. Bill Clinton came in third when Perot was in the race in Utah.
But unfortunately, Utah and Kansas ain't the only conservative states. Fencing in California and Massachuses is a more likely scenario.
Obi
(Sick Mormon)
As a non-Mormon imprisoned in Utah, I can verify this article's assessment of the people of Utah.
Let them secede. As a uninbatibale 3rd-world theocracy, Utah is more like Iran than America (less the 90% government subsidy of gasoline), anyway.
PS: I much appreciate the one-year transition period, so I can get the Hell out of here.
Dear Mr. Rellick,
You are sadly mistaken. It will not just be Kansas and Utah, but will also include, Texas, Alaska, all of the Southern States and the heartland of America, as well.
You will be left with the Northeastern states, California, Oregon and Washington, and you think your gas prices are high now......just wait!!! Texas, Alaska, and Nebraska can take care of our new country. But, don't worry, you'll be alright...Obama has lots of friends in the Middle East, and so many caring, independent citizens who want the government to take care of them.
The difference between our new country and what's left of yours can be easily illustrated by the last two Hurricanes. Obama's America is most appropriately depicted by the democrats who expected the government to do everything for them
and blamed the government for not stopping the hurricane from hurting them while they were bombarded with warnings of the levees breaking, with ample warnings of what might be.
In contrast, Hurricane Ike hit Texas with a Republican Mayor, a Republican Governor and have you heard one incidence of looting or government bashing about the destroyed homes or the loss of lives?????
Take your liberal states, take your states believing that our government owes them something, and that they shouldn't pay taxes. I hope you have enough rich people to keep them fed and housed and educated and protected.
I think perhaps Stupidstan may be the best name for YOUR Obamabot nation.
Kelsie
Please use your bad education for something more useful like a real job.
Anonymous you are correct the only remaining states would be California and the northeast. They could try their ideology on themselves and see if it works.
You teach at a Juco, therefore, I'll forgive your ignorance - and the chip you have on your shoulder. Must be hard being at the bottom end of the educational food chain and therefore satisfying to write such an ignorant piece of attempted humor to lift your feeble ego.
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