The American Philosopher Interviews: Carter, Meir, Sadat and Dawkins

"When the philosopher in me steps back and looks at humanity, I see so many of Jane Goodall's chimpanzees running around, thrashing the ground with a stick and shaking the bushes in an effort to gain attention, to coerce, to raise our personal esteem, and to ensure our own belief systems have a place in this near eternal theater. "

by Don Robertson, The American Philosopher

1/19/07


(TAP)Welcome, everyone.

I'm honored and, indeed quite pleased to sit and chat with each of you today, enjoy the coffee, and rummage around the attics of each of your minds in the gray matter that passes for reality here. I gave each of you an introduction to myself when I invited each of you here, an invitation I personally would have refused hadn't I made it up.

I am but a philosopher seeking answers to flesh out some of the odd ideas I have in my mind about the minor roles each of you plays in this three act play that has been my own small and insignificant life. It is really all I know, and such confusion is easier to address personally, than it could possibly be to address in the broader spectrum of insanity that passes for popular culture, popular history and the great wishing well of all humankind.

I recently read My Life by Golda Mier, 1975. I also recently read Anwar Saddat's In Search of Identity: An Autobiography, 1978. I have not the ambition or interest to read Jimmy Carter's work Peace not Apartheid, because I was long since voting when Carter was elected President and I've watched Mr. Carter latch onto every popular secular humanist movement grasping for history ever since. Neither have I any interest in reading anything by Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion, whom to me seems not just to miss the point, but also to miss the boat of life as well. I do respect all of you though, or I would not have asked you here for this small pow-wow intended to clear my mind and conscience before I depart this world.

Is there one of you who would like to start and be first? (All four jump out their seats in anticipation of opportunity. Carter and Sadat defer to Mrs. Meir almost immediately, but Dawkins only relents with a frown, followed by a condescending, Oxford-try pout.)

Yes, Mrs. Meir?

(Meir) Well, I would just like to say how proud I am to have been selected to sit here with this fine group of distinguished people, excepting Mr. Dawkins about whom I must say, I had never heard of before this invitation, but who must be a fine celebrity who has arisen since my death. I understand you are an atheist, Mr. Dawkins? Is this correct?

(Dawkins leaps to his feet.) Gawd! I thought you'd never ask! Jeesh!

(TAP) Please be seated Mr. Dawkins! Thank you. (Dawkins again assumes that Oxford-try pout, this time followed by an apparently omniscient scowl.)

Now, Mrs. Meir, I read your autobiography, and I am puzzled. While you professed in your work a great and heartfelt sympathy for the displaced Palestinian people torn from their land and their homes when Israel seceded, I fail to see how in a few short years how in the complex narrative of your life, you turned all these people into terrorists. The transition in your autobiography was abrupt, without an explanation, and impossible not to notice. Could you fill me in as to your thought processes as they historically unfolded for you?

(Meir) Certainly. We were all very excited of course, about creating a Jewish state. We understood how the Palestinians would react; 650,000 of them simply getting up, and then they literally walked out of the territory Israel took when it seceded... That is a harsh word, "secede", don't you think? I know I never used that word in my book. It gives rise to an image of the American Civil War, so I avoided it intentionally. I prefer the word, "created" instead of secede. Can we proceed thus?

(TAP) Absolutely, Mrs. Meir. I read your autobiography, and had to get used to the way you carefully phrased things then. But continue concerning how all your new neighbors became terrorists.

(Meir) Thank you, Mr Robertson. Are you sure you are not Jewish?

(TAP) Oh, Mrs. Meir, you flatter me! No, Mrs. Meir. I am not Jewish. I am Scottish by ancestry, derived from that stock of people who are actually quite proud to be called, "Cheap." Proceed, proceed! How did those you refer to as native Arabs in your book become terrorists?

(Meir) Oh, you're flattered that I should think you Jewish?

(TAP) Yes, because I like you, Golda. But please proceed, this is my first narrative article, and it is difficult enough to make it read, keep context and flow without your continuing to flatter me that way. How did the Palestinians transform for you into terrorists?

(Meir) Well, in Jewish lore, we have always wanted a Jewish homeland. Even as I grew up in Milwaukee, I think even then this God-chosen role was planned for me. Like every people, the Jews have always had enemies, but once we had created our own homeland, anyone who opposed it became terrorists or anti-Semites. Of course having been born in Russia, and having lived in Milwaukee in the U.S.A. I was in a particularly good position to raise money from American Jews who supported the Zionist cause, so we could defend the land we claimed, claims made on the deed of our religious heritage and the down-payment of our long suffering...

(Sadat, interrupting) Yes, yes, Goldie. We all have religious traditions. Allah has taught me much too. And, those you call "terrorists" are in Allah's eye, the martyrs and defenders of my faith and our lands. We wish to live in peace and freedom, but a proud freedom that does not include a continued predation upon ever more of our lands by European Jews who came to Palestine for a homeland to the exclusion of all Arabs and all Muslims. Goldie, there are even Lebanese Christians who are not welcome to make their traditional migrations south across the land that you claim as Israel.

(Carter, interrupting with his hand up like a school teacher at an American-style town meeting just before a fist fight is about to break out.) Now, Anwar... You mustn't try and set forth inflammatory claims just to make a point. We must be polite, or Mr. Robertson will never have his mind settled about what is going on here. We are his guests, and we should attend to his questions so he can settle his mind. For such a young man, he doesn't look at all well...

(TAP) Oh, Mr. Carter, I am fine really. I live in northern Maine and it is winter, so everyone is a little pale this time of year. We only have two hours daylight added to four hours of dusk at the time of the solstice.

(Carter) Really? That must be very cold then!

(TAP) Yes, but the hearts of the people are warm.

(Carter) I'm glad to hear that. Well, you see, these are Holy Lands in Palestine. These lands are holy for three of the great religions on earth. Surely you know that? These lands have been the home of many peoples throughout history, and we cannot continue to see the land where Christ and Abraham, and Moses and Muhammad's children have all lived... (I could see Richard Dawkins squirming, grimacing, pressing his knees ever tighter together as if he might break his kneecaps, go bow-legged in reverse or, worse. He might scuff his patent leather shoes.)

(TAP) Yes, Mr. Dawkins? You have something you must say?

(Dawkins) If I may?

(TAP) Yes, by all means...

(Dawkins) God is a delusion!

(Meir) Mr. Dawkins! God is not a delusion!

(Sadat rolled his eyes back in his head and intertwined the fingers of his hands together as he turned them over and thrust them forward so his arms were parallel with his now straight-stiffened legs.)

(Carter) Well, it is clear this is one position to take, however, I for one hold out the hope that there is a God. This belief is one of the basic underpinnings of every civilization, and without it, Mr. Dawkins, where would you have us head? God is the embodiment of everything that is good.

(Sadat) Yes. President Carter is right. God exists for me and my people. Allah is great!

(Dawkins) No. God is dead. Don't you see? Religion is the cause of humanity's suffering. Religion kills and has killed so many people...

(TAP) Well, your summation of the problem is to the point Mr. Dawkins. I suspected and hoped for as much, which is why I invited you here with these other three other distinguished guests. Perhaps, you might enlighten their minds about how the Middle East problem would not exist if it were not for their delusions, as you have called it, about God?

(Dawkins) Well, it should be obvious enough. The Middle East, the Holy Lands are but scraps and scrapes on a map if it were not for this obsession with the deluded mind concerning God. I ...

(Meir) And, Mr. Dawkins, just what would you do with the Israelites who have so long suffered and so long desired their own land, their own country wherein they would not be second, third or fourth class citizens, and subject to repeated persecutions?

(Sadat) And, yes, Mr. Dawkins, what shall we do with the Israelis who came here from Europe by the millions and displaced my people as if they were dogs to be shooed out of a pasture? Do not my people have rights also?

(Carter) Now, now... We can have a civil discussion here. Perhaps Mr. Dawkins has some small point we should consider...

(Dawkins) A point? A point? All mankind needs is to forget about gods, and the whole world is better. Religion has killed so many. It has cluttered the minds of men long enough. Let us embark upon a new era where gods matter not, and men and science matter most. We can then finally get at the truth.

(TAP) So then, Mr. Dawkins, you would have mankind embrace a new paradigm of truth? And this truth should be science?

(Dawkins) Yes, science and the scientific mind is truth, not god. Look around you. Of what relevance are gods? Science is reshaping mankind and making of it a new species that needs not these gods any more. We are free, free at last if we can cast off these gods. Look at these two leaders here who represent two of many warring tribes of the ancient past. Look at President Carter who tries in his Christian way to bring them together! They are all deluded!

(Meir) Mr. Dawkins! I will not sit here as a Jewish woman and be insulted like this!

(Sadat) Nor I!

(Carter) Please, please! Mr. Dawkins, you should apologize to Mrs. Meir who spent her life working for her people who are bound together by one common thread, their religion that gives them their place in the world, their identity. It is their religion that describes for them their souls. And Anwar too, his people are bound together by their common belief in Allah, their God, who gives them their souls too. Would you have us live without souls, Mr. Dawkins?

(TAP) I am pretty sure Mr. Dawkins doesn't even think we have free will, unless it is found by some quirky scientific explanation derived from the fancies of Quantum Mechanics. I suspect Mr. Dawkins would have us all believe we are automatons acting out the fate each of us had been given long before any of us were even born. Is that not true, Mr. Dawkins?

(Dawkins) No, there is free will. We have the freedom to cast off the religious crutch of our psyches. We can become modernized. We can even become civilized, but not through religion. We shall become civilized by realizing that truth comes from science, and science alone.

(Carter) And, Mr. Dawkins.... From where does your belief in science come?

(Meir) Yes, Mr. Dawkins. How do you even know of good, and truth, if it does not arise from God?

(Sadat) Praise be to Allah!

(Dawkins) No. No. No. God has nothing to do with truth. Truth is derived from the scientific processes that have proved we have free will, have proved we can make our lives better by living modernly and abandoning the cruel past dominated by religions. Have none of you heard of the predictions of Stephen Hawking? Hawking is the most learned physicist and cosmologist to have ever lived on the planet. It is Hawking's prediction that we shall find the Grand Unifying Field Theory at which point all of God's secrets will be revealed to mankind! And then we shall all be gods!

(TAP) Can I interject here?

(My four Distinguished Guests in unison) Yes. This is your party.

(TAP) I long held the views of an atheist. I have recently found though, that God does exist in the minds of many, in many different forms and with such a strength and force that it is hard to deny the reality so many ascribe to. Mr. Dawkins, drawing from the prestigious education given to him in his time on this earth, most of it spent in learning or teaching in educational institutions founded by religious men, has noted for us with all his conviction that religion is a destructive force acting within the body of mankind.

(Dawkins) Yes. Thank you.

(Meir) But God has been an inspiration to me.

(Sadat) Yes, and to me too, and to my people as well...

(Carter) Yes. Some of us draw upon the great fountain of religious worship for meaning in our lives.

(TAP) Yes, and I wonder, if religion is such a destructive force by our belief in it, or our non-belief in it, then what is science? Is science now not being embraced with virtually the same fervor as religions were embraced in the past? Is not science destructive of humanity too?

(Dawkins) No! Science is amoral!

(TAP) If science is amoral, upon then whom do way lay the destructive use of science, that now massively terrifying body of destructive scientific know-how?

(Dawkins) We know who uses science so maliciously: Religion and the religious in their endless wars.

(TAP) So then, Mr. Dawkins, were we able to convince everyone that there is no God, upon whom then, should we blame the destruction of the world when some errant scientist throws the switch on the last scientific experiment of humanity? Or do you too have faith there is a kind and gentle hand that guides all scientists, as if from on high, not to do such an idiotic thing?

(Dawkins) Mr. Robertson, if you think by proving the world is just as much at risk without religions playing their part in it, proves your premise that science is but another religion, you are wrong. Ah ha! You see, unlike your other guests, I read through your web site. I know what you're up to here, and it is nothing but a parlor trick! Science is truth. Science is not a religion. Science is truth, and there is nothing you can say that will convince anyone otherwise. The world becomes more scientific and less religious every day!

(TAP) Well, Mr. Dawkins, of course you are the only one here who took the opportunity to read through my web site. Two of my guests are dead, and the third, President Carter, spends his time writing, reading, praying, and with bookings on talk shows. He apparently has never even heard of the web.

(Sadat) Well, I'm not dead!

(Meir) Nor I!

(Carter) I know what a web site is, but I was unaware you had a web site Mr. Robertson. Is that why you call yourself The American Philosopher?

(Dawkins) Yes, you both are too dead, and Jimmy you will be shortly. Anwar, you died a martyr in 1981, assassinated by your own troops! And Golda, you died an old lady in 1978.

(Meir) I'm still an old lady who helped establish what is written in prophesy, a Jewish State in the land that God gave to my people!

(Sadat) Yes. And I, Anwar Sadat, but a poor Egyptian boy at birth recognized this Jewish State when I spoke at the Knesset. Golda, what ever happened to Yitzhak Rabin?

(Meir) Assassinated, just like you Anwar.

(Dawkins) Yes, do you see? How many scientists go around assassinating their fellow scientists? Religion again!

(TAP) Yes, yes... Political intrigue mixed with religious fervor can certainly end in assassination. But again, Mr. Dawkins, upon whom might we blame the continued endangerment of humanity by the products and byproducts of science?

(Dawkins) We'll blame it upon the stupid people of the world!

(TAP) Yes, but we are all stupid here, are we not?

(Dawkins) You certainly are. Your should write for The Onion, not Thomas Paine...

(TAP) Perhaps. Though as a philosopher, as well as the host of this little get-together, may I have the last word?

(My four Distinguished Guests, again in unison) Absolutely!

(TAP) It may seem a parlor trick to accuse science of being yet another religion, and even of accusing atheism of the same, however, philosophically, I see no difference. These are all human belief systems that we each create ad hoc from the time of our birth, and that we each live well within until the time of our deaths.

Humankind's most endearing attribute seems to be that we are all tricksters.

When the philosopher in me steps back and looks at humanity, I see so many of Jane Goodall's chimpanzees running around, thrashing the ground with a stick and shaking the bushes in an effort to gain attention, to coerce, to raise our personal esteem, and to ensure our own belief systems have a place in this near eternal theater. That religion plays its tricks with the supernatural effects of prophesy, revelation and eternal life, seems no different from that more base magician, the scientist, who relies upon the prop gag for his own effects. That is what the atom bomb and all these other scientific oddities, like the rights of man, Darwinism, universal suffrage, and the Internet; all these things we see littering the culture and our landscape are site gags, are they not? Are not all these things invented by scientists of every ilk and like religions before them, are they not slight of hand or prop gags used to effect attention, admiration, idolization?

And when on that rare occasion now, when we can shut our eyes, and be quiet, and reflect upon what we are, living, breathing souls; is not the only truth left, that life is good, to be lying in the warm sun, listening to the wind or the waves on this wonderful planet, a planet we all can only imagine and now, right now, as this is our time, we are alive, and we will not always be here, so we should not waste a precious moment upon all these tricksters?

Let them thrash their sticks. Let them shake the bushes. Let them pull a rabbit out of their hat.

Today, I am, and that is enough.